more terrible things to read:

"You have a group invitation awaiting confirmation. Peanut Butter Belly"

These are the sort of facebook group invitations that I receive. To tell you the truth, those are the sort of groups that I enjoy being in, if only to convey to the digital public that I am not some conceited self-absorbed douche bag.

But groups on facebook celebrating the self-absorbed masses of the American university system are plentiful. At Columbia alone, which is not particularly well known for its good looking men and women has countless versions of:

- Fabulous People
- I Look Good In Sweatpants and a Popped Collar - You Don't!
-Hot Boys - Columbia University's Ultimate Studs
-I'm the Shiznit and You're Not.
-The Oyster Collection (i Rock a Rolex and You Don't!)

Gosh. The entire thing makes me want to puke in my mouth a little bit. Let's face it, sweatpants and a popped collar? No that's not looking good, that's just wearing sweatpants and a popped collar and looking like a douche, that and... telling everybody you're a fucking idiot for spending $100 on Juicy Couture sweatpants. My next $100 something, is going towards Sennheiser HD555 headphones, those are way more bad ass than asshugging sweatpants and a Lacoste polo.

But the most disturbing part is that Columbia's class of 2009 has already jumped on the bandwagon. There are some people who already have 150+ "friends" by virtue of... oh I don't know, I'll take a stab at it, you like Coldplay and Modest Mouse and poked them. It is pretty vile and ...somewhat telling that there is a group named "the hottest freshmen girls of 2009" which was started by a certain individual who took a year off and used to take off his shirt and do pull ups on ceiling pipes in wein. Perhaps I just don't understand the complexity and deepness of the group, student of 2008, originally 2007, starts a group providing a daily affirmation for its member girls that they are in fact hot (some of those girls are poor choices, whoever the 'talent scout' is has awful taste in women).

One look at the profile of the owner of the group and you start to cringe. We will start at the wall:
entry: from a freshman
"Well your life story is amazing and its awesome that u feel close to me already. Cant wait to meet you next year so we can party in NYC!!"

Did the Columbia campus just do a collective shudder or was it just me? I almost find it hard to believe that we share 20+ friends in common as just glancing at the profile makes me cringe.

Interests:
-Crashing the 745Li (what kind of idiot crashes a 7 series? Is this an acknowledgment of stupidity and recklesness, or just a tacit reminder to everyone that he is rich and can afford to crash $100k cars?)
-girls with protruding hip bones
-girls wearing only my oxford shirts and boy short underwear
-ann coulter (WTF)
-arguing with liberals
-girls in cowboy boots
-existential philosophy
-going to the gym at 5 am and having sex right after coming back from the gym
-ordering food after not eating for days (what?)

oh oh. this one is so touching i almost cried at how deep he is.
The feeling I get when I look out my window at the christmas tree lights on College Walk in the winter: Its magical, and there are only a few of you who understand what that feeling means to me.
give me a fucking break.

Clubs and Jobs: I get paid to wear Abercrombie & Fitch clothing. And now also Adidas.

About Me: You bitches wish you were me. That's right. I bet you don't even know how to sail.

This is the profile of a refined man. It kind of hurts the soul to see these kinds of people. really. oh god. I just puked a little in my mouth again.